Chance Pe Dance

*****Reminder*******************************

I think for last post Google reader failed; hence I am again posting the link for survey here; so anyone who has not taken the survey can do so. You can read about the poll here [ link ] and take the survey here [link] .

OK about this post I think its been too long I have posted here (I know each time I say this) But this time the writer’s block extended too long. So just to break that I came up with this post. Please forgive me if you don’t find it funny or worth reading or too long.

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Time: 1.00 AM
Venue: My bed

Me: You can’t do that to me..I am not coming…

He: Do you have any option? Just imagine what will happen when you will get married..I know that’s difficult but still there is a chance that you may find some girl…*evil laugh*

Me: Why you have to call at this insane hour?…It’s not the right time to discuss my marriage…and its blackmailing.

He : All this while I was talking to my fiancé…heh..so see ya tomm at 6.00 pm sharp

Me: No…I am not coming..I have 2 left feet …please under..

–Line was disconnected———–

I had a nightmare. I was performing a pole dance for gabbar; who was having his 5th cuppa. No there was no VIRU. Gun was pointed towards me. In case you never watched Dostana ; gabbar was a GAY.

I woke up the next morning and took 2 asprin to kill my headache. But it killed my sane mind and by afternoon I was dizzy. I took one more dose and by evening I was flying. I was so HIGH that I actually downloaded 3 bappida songs from 80′s. Asprins were working.

Cut to :

Time: 6.00 pm
Venue: Flat No : 203, Evershine , Malad

He looked low on testerone. Mix of shaimak davar and bobby darling with a hint of karan johar.

GLOT* (In his girly voice): So you can dance? Hard to believe…

Me: Ye little better than you loser…(Asprins were working)

GLOT: Show us your moves then….Music

(Prem ki Naiya In the background and all eyes were on me. Those eyes belonged to the GLOT and my cousins 3 cute friends….I regretted my last line instantly…But there was no turning back..Specially in front of that GLOT..)

Beware Dancing

I showed some of my aerobics moves which I learned long back [ link ] and for which my lady instructor use to give me those cute smiles during the session; later my batch mate told me that she used to give me dirty look and not smiles, obviously he was jealous.

Anyhow I started my sunny paji meets micheal jackson jig and ohh boy they all started rolling on the floor laughing , for once I thought my fly was open but it wasn’t. They were laughing at the way I was dancing, It reminded me of nigar khan who once said there are no takers for real talent in india , No wonder she was deported left the country. I miss her. Even I wanted to leave that house but couldn’t, I need people to dance at my wedding as well. I hate these things but…

Anyways GLOT decided that I was good for nothing and proposed that he can use me as a prop in his theme song, may be a tree around which couple will run. I refused. Now I wanted to dance. GLOT was adamant. It took lot of negotiation and Transfer of 2 interesting files from my cell phone to his. But we had to change the song and cut the length short. Never mind.

We started practicing. I think my partner was nervous, may be because of my superior dancing skills. Somehow she kept coming in my way and got slapped each time I waved my right hand instead of left one. I smashed her toe more than once. But she kept her cool. She was good. Anyhow my group practiced for 15 minutes for 1 minute song and I took little over two hours. You know I like to improve every move till perfection. And then…

Brrrr..I think it became too long and boring. So I should stop here. The Jig goes live the next week-end. My cousin told me that I shouldn’t tell anyone about my performance; It will be a surprise for everyone. I think that’s cool idea, But I smell something fishy there. Anyhow if I do manage to shake my kamaria on the stage and people don’t throw rotten tomatoes and boiled eggs, then I must try to get the dance video and post it here only if all my loyal fans plead for that…lol

Anyhow survey result goes up in the next post. Stay tuned.

*GLOT = Guy Low On Testerone

Left Right Left !!!!

“Nobody cares if you can’t dance well. Just get up and dance.”
~Dave Barry

“Left Right Left!!!…1..2..3…4…5…6…k??..simple na??”

Well it looked as easy as hayden hitting a six to appam over the cover boundry.

“ye..simple”..i said.

“let start then…1..2…3..4..5…6″.

“k…1…3..2..2…errr…how to do this one?”

Other made it. 1..2…3..4..5..6…. :(

“Ok next step then”

She almost gave me “which-planet-r-u-from-look” while barely managing to control her laugh.

“Its even more simple ..1..2…3..jump…1..2..3..jump”.

I think she was testing me or may be she was missing her daily dose of cyrus on mtv and she thought i can be a perfect escape-goat.

“1…2…jump…3…2..1..jump…3″.

Atleast i completed all steps; doest matter it was in random order.

Now this time she wanted to laugh big time but she didnt and she choked while controlling it.

Well you just got a glimpse of 1st session of aerobic class I been through. After attending the session my respect for bollywood chorographers incresed 10 folds. I mean now I no why ppl get so freaking crazy when ever-fat saroj khan gives them 100 rupee note on those reality Tv shows. Dancing is really an art and to master that; its a blessing (and hardwork). And if you are still wondering what I am talking abt i.e. if you have problem while adding 2+2 or your common sense says mumbai is capital of india or your uncle’s name is george bush then let me tell you in laymen terms that I am more pathetic then sunny and sanju baba when it comes to dancing. Now I know why dance instructor says making bobby deol dance was such a nightmare. I could see the pain in my instructors eyes.

IPL is over and after spending 99% of time (please note its after office) while watching those matches. I wonder what I will do now. No sensible thought crosssing my mind. But some not so sensible thought did crossed someone’s mind and the person called my companies office to say that there is bomb in our building. Well how pathetic you may be at shaking that leg; you dont want to die in your 20s; I dont think thats a perfect age to die. And on top of it I think its not the worthy enough reson to give all the chix and money (which may be comin my way as predicted by horoscope column of hindi tabloid) a miss. So I ran for my life and was out of the building in 6 and half seconds . Well turned out be a hoax call but we had a day off at 3pm… nice na?

After orkut I started to njoy the facebook too . I think there is not much of a scope to socialize there with friendz and orkut is well enuf. So I started adding filmi and TV janta(I mean stars) to my list. I am not sure how many of these profiles are true or fake but just adding them for FUN of it. I have added from likes of aakash chopra (for gals ..his a cricketer) to likes of mahesh bhatt. But I am most excited abt adding rakhi sawant as my friend. I have just sent her a request letc…fingures crossed..hehe. Just wondering what kind of facebook status he..err..she must be having…any idea?? may be like ‘Why ur crazy abt me’ , ‘Me itni hot kyu hai’ or may be latest ‘Mujhse shaadi karoge’…hehehe. And yes I think I am talking funny; And my building watchmen agrees with me too.

Normally I find it difficult to start a post but this time I am finding it difficult to end this one. So not sure what to say… should I say I know I have two left feet and I am not ashamed of it or shouuld I say in last four post there were 3 instances where graceful rakhi sawant’s name was dragged or should just tell you the real reason that i gotta pee….

But all this sounds so boring stuff..so will just say cya..till rakhi adds me as her friend .. :P

On the disc : ‘dance me chance mar le’.