Also…

And you thought I am doomed.

Also I would like to clarify that this is not a book review site but you can see that the challenge has brought me back to my beloved blog. I get random ideas to write new post but if I don’t have computer near me the ideas get lost in between (I don’t really like typing on my phone, you see).

Also the life has been too hectic these days, new job has been consuming all the time and first time ever in my life I am working on few weekends as well, not good I say. Soon I will be completing a year at the new company, may be after that I will be able to fix those things. Wont be able to find first company love again, I guess. :!

Also, you guys don’t visit my blog or you are ashamed to like my fb blog link? If that’s the case then I totally understand.:P because In public even I don’t acknowledge this blog. Anyways taking my chances by putting the link here, just in case if you have been listening to to many bappy da songs!

https://www.facebook.com/allthecrap

Also, for the whole year I forgot to mention that I was in Australia last year for a month long work trip, Its a nice country. Also met an old acquaintance in Melbourne and she really made me feel at home and as a friend. It was heart warming! Couldn’t stop raving about her to our mutual friends when I came back.

Also got to see bit of Australia and it was lovely and met few warm Ozzie people. Let me also mention that every Ozzie guy is at least 6 inch taller and 20 KG heavier than me. Every second guys is east Asian in Melbourne, every third guys is Indian and every taxi driver is a Punjabi. You can always feel at home in that city.

Also they don’t use water jets in Toilet!

She

One of the fondest memory of my childhood is when all the cousins used to sit on the floor of our lawn semi circling her and she used to give each one of us a small vessel/glass of different size and shapes filled with green substance and we used to drink the Neem ka Kadha with one hand, as other was busy holding the breath; eyes closed. That was the bad part, the good part used to come after we finish the whole thing, the sugar cubes. We loved fighting for the bigger cubes. Seeing all of us around having fun used to make her day.

She was old traditional Rajasthani lady. She had no teeth as far as I can recollect but she used to tell me proudly that when I was young and toothless she used to chew the food and feed me, She lost all her teeth pretty early. She had more wrinkles than females of her age would have had. She was fair, thin and beautiful.

I lost my Grandma (Dadi, we used to call her Bai) around Ganesh Chaturthi in 2003. She was in bad shape in last months of her life. I think she lost the zeal to live when her partner for so many years left her, My grandpa (used to call him Ba) passed away few year back. My grandpa had memory problem in his last years and hence he used to argue a lot with my Dadi but they were inseparable. My dadi never stayed without him, wherever they stayed, her other son/daughters house or our place. They stayed together.

This and That

I am was reading ‘Maximum City’ by Suketu mehta and this book is suppose to be THE book about Mumbai but I disagree I think Its pretty biased take on city and boring. I am on page 140 and it still feels like I am reading the forward. I will put down a review if I somehow finish the book, Which I doubt seriously. I wrote this a while back and I couldn’t finish the book. Now I am reading ‘Last Man In The Tower’ and it doesn’t look promising either.

Life has been bit rough lately with some health issues with me (Not Major thing) but who wants to pop those pills? I think it will phase out. Appraisal is in and its so not happening. Hence I decided to move on in life. That’s switching the job and I am already serving the notice period. Let’s see how it goes, wish me luck.

I remember on my first day of joining I was bit nervous, more excited. It took me 2.5 hour to reach the office and 30 minutes to locate it. I sat in the room full of oldies with 4 of us freshers trying to figure out what the presenter with Salman’s accent was trying to convey. Anyhow the long day ended and It took me more than 2 hour to commute back. I resigned the next day. yup, thats true and then I joined my current company. It has been good to me and I had a nice experience but Its the time to move.

Long time No See

Married life is going good and almost completed 10 months, Cant believe that!! So I wanted to plan something around the anniversary, some small 4-5 day trip but you know I am not single anymore and I am not the one who wears pants in the house (I like my 3/4th), So wife has different plans and she is taking me with her for 15 days trip with all my in laws (Almost entire village), They have booked a whole train and they are going for …wait for it…pilgrimage..Yes, Yes you heard it right in my twenties I will be going to different temples to wash away my sins.. :( Are Bhai..Budhape me kya krunga fir? Anyway trip is final unless something changes at the last minute.

Long time…

I don’t like dead blogs. And also hate the fact that I have one. I almost forgot about the blog till I got a new comment on an old post, and got a notification in my mail box. Its interesting, No matter how many times I say I don’t care about the number of people who read my blog and comment on the post, It always brings a smile on my face when I receive a new comment on the blog.

Its like pretending to give no shit for the cutest gal in the class when everyone around has hots for her? eh? Just because you know you cant get her. But you will still remember the question she asked to you in 1st sem at the bus stop “Bhaisaab, chinchpokli ki bus yaha se jayegi?” Obviously minus the Bhaisaab part. So every time I see a new comment it makes me feel good.

I am not a great blogger or for that matter not even capable of writing 2 coherent sentence without using auto correct. Still I have 685 comments (Not to mention 80% of them selling Viagra) on this blog and thats an achievement for a bull shit talker like me.

Work In Progress

You know I like telling people that I am very busy and I don’t get time to keep in touch but in reality I think I am plane lazy.

Its been longest time between two posts since I started blogging actively . Reason? Obviously I was busy with so many things. You see Getting married is not easy specially if you belong to a Marwari family. Marriage preparation, even tougher.

As I get ready to tie the knot with the lovely lady and add another example in long list of people like Vinod Kambli, Let me tell you Its not easy getting done with the marriage preparation. From Phoolwala to Catering guy, from Photographer to Godiwalas all are in demand for ‘shaadi’ season and increase in their rates (from the last time I got my sister married) is inversely proportional to number of hair I got left on my head.

Great Indian Wedding

And yes the GLOT is back and with a vengeance of course and he is giving me a hard time with all the dance moves, way tougher than the last time [link] . I think he read that post. I know I am yet to upload that dance video as promised but i have the CD with me but no software to cut the clip (Yes, I am an engineer.) So if you can suggest(with link) me a good software that can cut clip from a VCD/DVD , Next post will be that video. I have tried to install the VCD cutter from download.com but it has some Spyware. Please help.

That’s not all, the toughest part is buying clothes for the wedding. I have already bought 3 dresses with so much of glitter and brightness that it can put both Govinda and Chanki Pandey to shame. And we have just started shopping. Long way to go baby.

No wonder Indian men hardly marry twice. One wedding is enough. And after spending so much of money and time, they have no other choice but to stick with the same girl. :P

Life’s been good to me. How about you?

Image courtesy : Google.com

Abe title chod post padh

Similar post have been done by two bloggers in the past, Incidentally both of them have same initials. Both DI, [link] and [link] . Couldn’t locate the post though.

So its about the weird/funny/sad word search that people do and land on my blog. And to show how much effort Google still has to put in its RnD Dept. Here we go.

1. how to make gampati bapa happy

I wish I knew , I wonder if google can tell you that. And after looking at spelling of Ganpati, I think it has been searched by a teenage boy whose ssc result is due. Internet is a devil for leading such teenage souls to blog like this. God bless.

2. constipation books

Constipation books, really? I can understand some old uncle type would write a para or may be a post on constipation, but a book? Let me know if you got any. Between Google misguided him because I wrote a review for one of chetan bhagat’s book. Enough said*.

3. waht

What or wat (Mumbaiya lingo)?

4. bhai tune pappi kyon li.rm

Well, seriously Mica tune pappi kyu li? I mean Rakhi Swant ki pappi?
Curtly Ambrose[link] has better chances of getting kissed than Rakhi Swanat will ever have. I hope he got the desired answer. Between what is that li.rm? Video file? Dude you wanna see how that happened? Yuck.

5. sweaty bodybuilder with armpit hair

I am speechless. If you wanna see one, just type Sunny Deol, I am sure he is sweaty and must be having those armpit hair you are looking for.

6. guy deletes gf farmville

What? how could he? But wait, why you wanna find that? To send that Girl Farm-ville invites?

7. shridevi yogaasan

*Drum rolls* This one show, reach of this this blog. Even people from south has access to this blog. Between you guys have any link of ‘yogasana of Sridevi’? Asking just to help these needy souls, not for me. ;)

8.amar singh and enjoy

I wonder who wants to enjoy with Amar Singh? As a regular reader of national daily’s page3 supplement, My memory fails to point anyone else but Mr Bacchan himself. With so many events and parties they have attended together, The happy lot must be enjoying each others company. Does it concludes that Biggest superstar of this country reads my blog?

9.scary old ladies

Sorry I am not old and not a lady for sure, Just scary.

10.motivational engineers

Thanks google if you think I am one of those engineers who can motivate. Now I even have a proof for an objective of my next appraisal. *wheeheee*

11.facebook stole my life

Come on don’t be such a loser. I know people who have lost their wives/Gf to the said site.

12.bobby darling hair removal process

Thank god you just want to know about her(or his) hair removal process, After all its a family blog.

13.hot shirtless guy pic blog

I wish I could say you got the right guy, but no. Its partially right. That ‘hot’ and ‘shirtless’ thing cant happen. Though thanks to google for some moral boosting.

*I love Chetan Bhagat’s book and will read his next one as well.

And Wish you a Happy Eid, Ganesh Chaturthi and Savantsari etc in advance.

New post pretty fast I say, Now you cant complain. Between what is the wackiest word search that lead to your blog?

Back without a vengeance

Its been more than 3 years since I wrote my first post but till day I haven’t learned the art of writing a coherent post. Mostly, it gets very tricky for me to choose a topic on which I should write. I like to post random thing with each para or may be which each line. It’s difficult for me to write a post focusing on a single topic. Its a complicated business.

Lets start with a good news, Around a month back yours truly got his appraisal letter and guess what? Due promotion was given. Lady luck I say, But many people around him haven’t got what they desired (some deserved as well, but that’s subjective), So rate of putting down paper is higher than rate of no of allegation against Mr. Kalmadi, with each passing day. People are moving out for better prospects, for the new beginning and its not a pleasing experience as many friends are leaving. This is my first company (technically second) and I loved liked my tenure here and I think it will last for longer period. May be I am satisfied or simply lazy.

On other note, When I first started my journey[link] to find the right match for me I never knew I will end up with such a lovely person. I just love her voice , what she says, the way she smile, she is a beautiful soul and makes me wonder will I ever be as good as she is? I hated it when she cried once, indirectly I was the reason ( She doesn’t agree though). And I hated myself for that, for making her cry. But I will never let that happen again. I hope things wont change once we tie the knot. I cant see her crying even once.

Meanwhile preparation for fat Indian wedding still in slow motion. GLOT[link] has been booked, And groom has reluctantly agreed to dance as well but it has been found that bride is a good dancer . I think I will get a cold feet on sangeet night but I guess as long as I don’t loose my sanity or my pajama on stage, It should be fine. :)

I am writing after a long time and this is not what you expect from me but that’s how it is. I am not in right frame of mind (read as tired, sleepy and hungry ) to type this post, but when something has to be it has to be. I hope you are doing well and don’t unsubscribe my blog if you find this post rubbish and pathetic.

Rules of Engagement

I can see multiple number of people in my friend list on social networking sites getting committed/engaged AKA doomed, and their relationship is now in public knowledge. Hence I thought of putting down some of the hazards/rules of getting engaged (Specially for male species).
Here you go.

- Every call you make in office/restaurant/loo will be suspected as a call to your future spouse. Even when you are listening about some home loan scheme from a husky female voice at the other end.

- Shades and size of dark circles will be inversely proportional to call charges. Cheaper the charges darker and bigger the circle would be.

- Archie’s gift shop guy will remember you by name.

- Your screen saver, wallpaper will have ONE picture.

- Her number will on speed dial but you won’t have to use it because It will be always on the redial list. Needless to say you will have her number by heart.

- Don’t be surprised when you realized that last time you met your friends over a dinner when she was out of town or she had plan with her friends.

- No, She doesn’t look fat. Not even in that red dress. Don’t even try. You will be dead meat.

Picture abhi baki hai dost…

And you thought I am dead.

So How you have been? From the last post you know I am engaged to a lovely girl. And its turning out to be the most sound decision of my life. Not sure about her decision though. She is great and in comparison, she is awesome.

Did I tell you the good part? I am learning many new things, from handling those shopping bags to paying a hefty tips to waiter (whose paycheck is surely more than mine) at upmarket restaurants, asking ticket window guy to give me the corner seat for whichever movies its available for. Nodding at every request she make and giving ‘Its-ok-honey’ look whenever she is late by couple of hours. Fighting with my bank to increase my credit limit to avoid embarrassing situations, talking on the phone through the night till your morning alarm start ringing. Sharing your last scoop of ice-cream. Its bliss.

Game Over : Beginning of an end? – II

So from the last post you already know that guy was desperate and ready to mingle with anything that looked like a nice girl, nice girl? as if he had a choice. Never mind.

Though the guy had crush on a girl from the EXTC class,(non-engineers don’t stress your self about EXTC thing, just carry on) he couldn’t muster up enough courage to go up to her and tell what he thought about her seductive looks and short height. The perfect figure she had. The devilish smile she always wore. The pink dress in which she looked better that dia mirza.Days Years passed, the guy was a total fattu. He couldn’t even get himself introduced to her. The girl moved on (she didn’t know that said guy ever existed) and like any every other good looking girl she paired up with a guy who looked like cross between upen patel and rajpal yadav. Destiny I say, something are never meant for you.

The story remains the same from the last post; he was single and bored. He thought the internet can be a good idea to find the girl ( you have read this here ) even shoaib malik has used that. But even after sending 100s of fraandship request on orkut and stalking yahoo chat rooms, all he got was some gay (who pretended as gal) and some indonesian chicks as his friends.

He played his moves badly, he was aging, hair shedding. He tried his final rescue. He asked his parents to find a girl for him. They were skeptical whether they will find a girl for me, they had their doubts and rightly so. But they need to make a move as well, So the hunt began.